Katy Shamitz is now Katy Boucher.
Not long ago, when I called someone on the phone from school, I would say, “Hi! This is Katy Shamitz from The Chapman Farm School. Is now a good time to talk?”
Now when I call, I say, “Hi, this is Katy Boucher from The Accord School.” I drop the part about it being a good time to talk, because I’m just super busy trying to see if I got the names right, and if the person on the other end has a clue of who they are talking to.
Name changes are tough.
The name change for the school was obvious. There was a 4x8 banner and confetti at a live announcement, and plenty of information online (Although Facebook still hasn’t acknowledged the change of course, but some things take time). Postcards were sent out, new sweatshirts were printed, and signs were changed at the school.
But maybe you noticed who is now making the call from The Accord School… It’s Katy Boucher, not Katy Shamitz.
That’s because I got divorced. When you get divorced, there is no confetti.
I’ll answer the string of questions that I have learned follow the sentence “I got divorced:”
I am ok.
He is ok.
The kids are ok.
It is amicable.
No, of course you shouldn’t hate him (It seems absurd, but I’ve been surprised by how many times I’ve been asked that?!)!
Luckily, very few people have asked me WHY* I got divorced, but for the few who have, I’ll provide that answer too:
The marriage concluded.
*Pro-tip for when you are talking to someone about their divorce: Everyone wonders why. It’s human nature. But it’s a super rude question to ask. If you are close enough, the person will just tell you. Otherwise, it’s too private to share. The end.
The divorce is finalized and has been going on in the background for a long time now, but because divorce is a really private transition for a family, I just haven’t said much about it.
The only reason I am saying anything at all is because of my name change. I have built a professional background that I’m proud of under the name Katy Shamitz, and I’m concerned that without some google-able explanation as to why my name changed, I will risk losing the connection to my work.
It’s honestly something my girl-power part has been thinking a lot about. In general, when men get divorced, it doesn’t impact them professionally. Women who took their husband’s name and choose to return to their birth name have to disclose the divorce to their co-workers and larger professional community, over and over again. Then there are all of the “outside world people” who get this inside information- the lady at the RMV, every financial institution, and the guy at Jordan’s Furniture who just couldn’t understand why my name looked different than the one he had in the system.
So if you’re looking for Katy Shamitz to do a talk on friendship or to work with your child on a social issue or to consult to your school district, here I am. My name is just Katy Boucher now… and it’s pronounced Boo-Shay. Growing up I used to hear BOW-CHER a lot until The Waterboy came out. Thank God for Bobby Boucher. Click this link to learn how to pronounce my name.